Spitting Image
by Kuruk
Summary: Takeru's older brother is dead. His parents blame his best friend Taichi. When Takeru and Taichi become close despite it all, is what they have enough to survive the ordeal and be happy or is it simply because Takeru looks so much like his dead brother?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hello, I'm Kuruk, new to the Digimon fandom._

_Let me warn you that this fic contains yaoi, drug use, self harm, suicide and language. If you don't like, kindly don't read._

**Disclaimer:**_ I own absolutely nothing._

_Hope you enjoy._

* * *

_**Spitting Image**_

Chapter One

My big brother's name is Yamato Ishida. He's seventeen and he likes playing guitar. He has a girlfriend named Sora. He plays really loud music when he's angry. He has a best friend named Taichi. He's my big brother.

And he's dead.

I don't know how exactly, or when. I just know that my big brother's dead.

And for some reason I can't bring myself to care that much.

When my dad called on the phone to tell us-- my mom and me, I mean, because they're divorced and don't live together anymore for obvious reasons, my mom started screaming. That was nothing new, I mean, even though my parents are divorced my mom still talks enough to my dad to scream at him everyday so it doesn't really feel like they're divorced.

But this time, instead of cursing him out or lapsing into one of their stupid, pointless arguments they used to have when the four of us still lived together, she started wailing. Seriously, I mean, her voice was all frantic and disbelieving and it got really, really high-pitched. She called my dad a liar and then she started crying and screaming even more.

It gave me a headache, so I went to my room and shut the door.

And for some reason I had this urge to tell someone about it.

At first I thought maybe I could tell Matt, which is one of my brother's nicknames, but then I remembered he was dead so that was out of the question. Then I thought maybe I could tell my best friend Daisuke, but he's probably at soccer practice now so I can't do that...

Am I really that alone?

Suddenly I'm really, really tired so I laid my head down on my pillow, trying to sleep despite my mom's shrieking and wailing...

* * *

Next thing I know it's the day of the funeral. I'd kept myself locked in my room for a couple of days and I'd heard snatches of conversations between my parents. That's right-- plural. My dad arrived the day after he and my mom had a shriek-fest over the phone and he hasn't left since. It's weird, you know, having my parents back together since they've been divorced since I was six. So weird, having them together again, not fighting but crying...

It's almost as weird thinking that my brother's dead.

Well, point is that while I stayed in my room to stay away from my parents' crying and sobbing, they talked a lot. About Matt and how he died.

Turns out he took a knife to his wrists. Suicide. My mother shrieked about how Matt was the happiest kid alive and I suppressed the urge to scream that she never saw him anymore because he lived with dad and she hates dad and dad hates her so she never saw him except on holidays and birthdays or when he would sometimes stop by for no reason at all.

Well, anyway. Matt killed himself. He was at his best friend Tai's house when it happened, and Tai was with him when he did it, so my parents have come to the conclusion since Matt was such a happy, perfect kid, that Tai was the one that cut Matt's wrists and left him to die in his bathroom.

I don't care, really... but since my mom's gone crazy and after hearing dad ranting about how the cops insisted that Matt had been the one to cut his wrists and not Tai, I guess I can give him the benefit of the doubt.

Kinda.

I don't know what to think except that mom and dad hate him so maybe I should too even though he was Matt's best friend and in order to be best friends you need to actually like each other like Daisuke and I do so maybe I shouldn't hate him.

My head hurts while I get dressed in this black suit I haven't worn since my grandpa died when I was eleven. It's super tight and my ankles are showing and I can barely move in it but mom and dad were too busy arguing and crying and shouting to buy another one that fit so I don't have a choice.

I looked at myself in the mirror, running a hand through my dull blonde hair.

I don't know how long I just stare at myself until I hear the front door opening and I guess that my mom and dad are leaving so I get out of my room and follow them out taking my place in the backseat as dad turns the car on and he and mom start arguing again. I just stare out the window.

* * *

I didn't know we had this much family.

Really, there are so many cousins and aunts and uncles and stuff the lawn is packed with people. Mom and dad are at the front and so is Sora, Matt's girlfriend. She and Matt grew up together-- actually, a lot of Matt's real close friends were all part of the same group growing up. Sora is pretty, but I wouldn't know since Daisuke always tells me I have really bad taste in girls... but I think she's pretty even though her face is all red and puffy and she's crying just as hard as my mom is, her arm wrapped around my mom's trembling figure.

They're holding each other towards the front and I'm lost somewhere towards the back, watching all this apathetically.

A lot of people turned out.

Not counting family, I mean.

Death freaks people out so I wouldn't think any of Matt's friends would show up, but there's a good number here. I recognize that American girl Mimi standing by Sora, crying into a handkerchief with those weird guys Joe and Izzy standing awkwardly around her.

There's also some kids in my own grade, like that perverted chick Yolei crying in between my fat, perverted uncle and his just as fat wife. There's also that small kid Cody standing by her, crying a little himself.

It makes me mad. I mean, these kids aren't even in Matt's class but they still show up and cry like they knew him. I mean, I never saw Matt hang out with them whenever I saw him around... why the hell are they here? For Matt? They didn't know him that well and yet they're still here?

It's because he's perfect and everyone loved him.

Obviously.

I bet they wouldn't show up if I was the one in the box, being lowered into the hole in the ground. They wouldn't care if it was me because I'm imperfect-- imperfect, weird Takeru.

It's raining a little and I'm feeling weird and really hot and I want to leave... so I almost do when I see someone else standing a little further away.

I recognize the big brown hair anywhere.

It's Tai and next to him is the smaller figure of his kid sister, Hikari.

I can see that Kari is crying, but Tai isn't. He's just staring at the hole and the box, his eyes big and empty, like he's staring at the end of the world or something.

It's right then that it dawns on me that my _brother's_ inside that _box_... that's being lowered into the _ground_.

Suddenly the suit gets itchier than usual and I run away, not even thinking what my mom would do when she saw Tai there, the guy that had murdered her precious son.

I stop running and the big blob of black is far away now. I sit on the wet ground, not caring if I get my ass wet and lean up against a tombstone, hoping that a lightning bolt won't hit me because I'm disrespecting this dead person... whose dead and can't really hurt me.

Like my brother, right?

I look down at the green grass, thinking about how ironic it is that the grass is so green and alive in a place full of dead people when I hear the soft sound of footsteps.

I look up and see Tai, staring down at me, chocolate brown eyes empty. I stare back.

"Tai," it's Kari pulling at his arm. Tai looks away, but not before something flashes in those dead eyes. Sadness? Recognition? Anger? All I really know is that a tear fell from his eye as Kari pulled at him, "Let's go," she said, looking at me in a really sad way.

Tai nods and walks off towards the parking lot while Kari stays and looks at me, a lot of weird emotions passing through her eyes. I just stare up at her just as emptily as Tai did to me, hoping that she'd leave already.

The way she looked at me would always freak me out.

"I-I'm... sorry for your loss, Takeru," she says, voice breaking a little. She bows low, gives me one last look and runs off after Tai, black dress swishing a little as she does.

I stare after them-- _him_... until I hear more footsteps and the big black blob of people is heading right towards me and I know I'm going to have to be invisible again. But does it really matter?

I sigh, get up and dissolve into the crowd, leaving my big brother behind.

I don't know why, but no matter how many times I repeated to myself that I would never see him again, I couldn't feel a thing...

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_A/N: Well, that's the end of chapter one. I hope that you liked it._

_I'm not sure about an update schedule, but I have up until chapter five written. And should I forget to mention this the pairings are (or at least the main ones...): Takeru/Taichi, ever-present Taichi/Yamato onesided along with a few side-pairings of Hikari/Takeru onesided, Daisuke/Hikari in later chapters, Sora/Yamato, Miyako/Ken and so on._

_I hope you enjoyed this and please review, I appreciate feedback and really, it keeps me going. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you all for the hits and special thanks to _**lovlee**_ for the review._

_Here's chapter two! Enjoy._

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Chapter Two

It's a beautiful day out. Real pretty-- bright sunlight, not a cloud in the sky and there's birds chirping.

I'm already dressed for school as I note this, trying to keep the same words from the burial from repeating over and over in my head like a broken record.

_Matt's dead and I'll never see him again._

It's like a dull thud, those words. Each time my brain reminds me that Matt's gone forever that apathy I've been feeling since I found out he was dead.

I'm thinking about this when I walk out of my room and notice that dad hasn't left. He's sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper, and the fact that he's _here_ and looking _fatherly_ is enough to get me really confused... not to mention that mom hasn't kicked him out yet like I thought she would.

I sit down at an empty chair and dad lowers his paper and looks at me with those sharp blue eyes that he and Matt share. "Ah, Takeru," he sighs, giving me a hard look, "Your mother is in bed," he looks towards the kitchen, "I don't know how things work in this house, but you'll have to make your own breakfast."

He raises his newspaper again and I rest my forehead on the cool wood of the table.

Thanks, dad.

I keep resting my head for a few minutes of tense silence... mainly because my estranged father is sitting across from me like he belonged here and not in some big ass mansion he and my perfect older brother lived in while mom and I are stuck in this little apartment.

What an ass.

When I hear the familiar knocks on the door that I was sorta scared would never come, I get up and run towards the door, thanking God that he wasn't freaked out by the fact that there was a death in the family.

When I open the door there's Daisuke standing there, book bag slung on his back and his eyes staring at the floor.

"Hey," he greets, voice sounding strained.

"Hi," I replied, staring at him for a long time.

We stand there awkwardly until a hand lands on my shoulder, the nails digging into my skin. I winced. "Takeru," my father's angry voice comes from behind me, "What is _that boy_ doing here?"

He keeps tightening his grip on my shoulder and tears spring to me eyes. I answer as fast as I can. "You don't even know him dad," I say quickly, gritting my teeth as his nails grind into my skin even harder.

"Like hell I don't," dad growls, "Both your mother and I agreed on the fact that this _monster_ shouldn't be allowed to even walk the streets after what he did to your brother-,"

It hits me like a ton of bricks.

"D-dad this is Daisuke Motomiya! Not Tai!"

Dad's grip on my shoulder lessens, then his hand flits away. Daisuke, who has been staring at all this open mouthed, rebounds by giving my dad a weak grin and waving a little. "You can call me Davis, though," he says lamely, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly.

"Ah," I heard dad say, not even a hint of shame in his voice, "A pleasure, Davis... I'm Takeru's father..." he squints at Davis' face, "You look so much like that boy though..." he shrugs and retreats into the house.

Davis is staring at me and I'm staring at the ground, tears in my eyes and my shoulder throbbing like crazy. Finally, Davis acts.

He wraps one arm around me and with his other one grabs my own book bag, pulling me out the door and into the dingy hallway.

He gives me a long look, sighs, then pulls me into an awkward hug.

It's weird and awkward and we break apart seconds later, but it's the first hug I've gotten in a long time so it's kind of nice in a way.

I reach for my bag but Davis refuses and I just follow him. "Dude," he says when we get in the elevator, "Your dad's a nut case."

We both start laughing as the doors close. Davis was at the wake at this reception hall my dad rented out with his parents and his quiet, shy friend Ken, but we really didn't talk much since I'd hidden myself in a janitor's closet and he was too busy dealing with his sister Jun, who had this weird crush on my brother and therefore was crying so hard it looked like she was having a seizure...

But Davis was there. And not for Matt but for _me_, I knew that because he and Matt never got along well when they met. He called Matt a sissy pretty boy and Matt gave him this glare I usually saw him give Tai when he was really angry at him and they've never been able to be in the same room since.

So Davis had to be there for me and not Matt. He hated Matt and he's my best friend, the fact that he came to the funeral of a dead guy that he hates means that he really cares... or that Jun and his parents forced him to...

Davis pokes me in the side and tears me from my thoughts. "Hey T.K... do I really look like Tai so much?"

I guess he does. They have the same stature, kind of the same facial structure and their hair is both big and stuff although Tai's is brown and Davis' is kinda a little reddish and more under control and spiked... but not so much that if you looked at one of them up close you'd mistake one for the other.

"Kinda," I reply, running a hand through my hair, "But my dad's a dead beet anyway, I guess. I mean, Tai was practically over at his house everyday with Matt I guess and he can't tell him apart from you, even."

Davis doesn't reply and I look at him, confused. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"N-nothing..." Davis stutters, "It's just... weird to talk about him."

Okay, I'm even more confused now. "Who, Tai?"

Davis gives me this weird look. "No, T.K. Not Tai... I mean _Matt._"

"Oh," is all I say.

We stand there in awkward silence and I can't help but wish that the damn elevator was just be faster than a snail and get us down the three floors so that we can start walking to school...

* * *

School isn't much better than home.

Mainly because everyone here is also thinking about Matt and how he died, and they walk up to me in groups and cry and tell me how much of a good person Matt was and that if Matt's little brother ever needs anything, then all I need to do is ask, because they would do anything for Matt.

I try not to look too uncomfortable when this happens throughout the day, yet still thankful that Davis sticks to me through every one of these awkward meetings and gives the people hard looks that makes them leave faster.

The first half of classes went by fast. I dozed off through all of them and the teachers didn't snap at me or make me go to the principal's office. Instead they just give me these pitying, sad looks and send me off at the end of class with a few words about how great a student Matt had been when they had him as a student three years prior and that if I ever needed to talk I could always ask them.

I try not to scoff at their words-- they don't care. No one really does.

It's finally lunchtime and instead of eating like everyone else does, I simple put my head down on the glossy, weird-smelling surface of the table and close my eyes. Davis gave me a look and went to get his lunch and I'm alone... no one's bothering me... and it's almost nice.

Until I feel someone sit down beside me.

I look at the person with one eye and almost jump back in shock.

It's Sora. Matt's Sora. His girlfriend Sora.

I stare at her in disbelief and she gives me a hopeful, almost nervous grin. "Hi, Takeru," she says as if she's talking to a five year old, "Do you know who I am?"

Even a social retard like me knows who Sora is. I would know who she was even if she hadn't been my brother's girlfriend or had been his just plain friend since they were in grade school. Sora's the type of girl that's generically popular, so even if she didn't make out with brother in public I'd still know who she was.

That's a stupid question.

Sora laughs nervously. "Of course you know who I am," she says, answering her own question, "You've seen my at Matt's-," she stops, closes her eyes and lets a tear fall before opening them again and giving me a sad smile, "parties."

I nod and she smiles again.

God this is weird. Having an actual conversation with my dead brother's girlfriend for the first time ever...

"Why are you here?" I ask a little coldly.

Sora flinches a little and I can't help but feel a little guilty... just a little. "W-well..." she begins, clasping her hands in her lap and looking down at them sadly, "I saw you here all alone and well..." she lifted her gaze and I could see all the raw pain in her eyes. I looked away, all too aware that there was nothing like that in my own eyes when there should be... "Takeru..."

"T.K," I interrupt her.

"T.K," she amends, "Just know that... well, I'm here for you, okay? You're not alone in this, okay? I'm here and I know how it feels... and I want you to, um, come sit with my friends and I."

I give her this look. Not only is she telling someone who could care less about anything that she's there for him, buts she's inviting me, imperfect, weird Takeru, to sit with her and my brother's other, perfect friends. I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

"Why did he do it?" I blurt before I can stop myself.

Sora's eyes widen. "P-pardon...?" she asks, voice full of shock.

"Matt... Why did Matt kill himself?" she looks like I'd just slapped her face, "I mean, you're his girlfriend, right? You should know, I mean, he was always with you or Tai and I never really knew him so... why did Matt do it?"

She stares at me and I stare back patiently and then she starts crying and I look away. "I-I..." Sora says in between little sobs, "I... I d-don't k-know..." she replies, hugging herself with her long, pale arms.

Before I know it Mimi is there and so is Izzy and Davis is back holding a tray of food and looking at us all in confusion.

Mimi has her arm around Sora and is crying too, voice quivering. "Shh, hon," she murmurs gently, rocking Sora a little, "It's okay, it's okay..."

It's suddenly so hot and I don't want to be around all this so I run and I hear Sora call after me and Davis call my name but I keep running out of the cafeteria until I collide with something metal and hard and collapse... and then everything goes black.

* * *

My head hurts more than usual when I wake up on this real uncomfortable, hard ass thing masquerading as a bed. The room has this weird mix of medicine and stale vomit for a smell and my nose wrinkles after just breathing through my nose.

"Hey, sleeping beauty awakens," a voice says.

I open my eyes a little more and see a smiling Tai leaning over me.

I yelp and fall off the cot and Tai just stares and laughs a little, totally different from the way he was acting at the burial... not what I expected at all, considering his best friend died a few days ago... plus he's talking to _me_.

What the hell is with all of Matt's friends and their desire to talk to me today?

Before I know it Tai in on top of the cot now and he's staring down at me, face down on the stiff bed-thing. "You ran into some lockers and passed out," he informs me.

I sit up and rub my forehead, wincing when it throbs. "Oh..." I'm such a klutz most of the time it isn't funny.

"Yeah," Tai says, flipping over so that he's lying on his back now, "So the nurse had to go screw Coach Gibbons so I decided to poke in and see how cute little Teeks is doing."

I frown. Matt used to call me Teeks when I was like, eight and he would visit mom's house every weekend just to see me. Back then Matt would take me to the park and buy me ice cream and play tag with me. I was actually happy back then, before we drifted apart and I felt like shit compared to him so I couldn't even stand next to him without thinking of his perfection and my many flaws...

"You know," Tai says, breaking me out of my thoughts, "After the disturbing fact I have revealed to you-- that the nurse actually does screw Coach Gibbons everyday in the second floor men's bathroom at precisely this time, you don't seem, err... disturbed..."

I blink. "Why the heck are you telling me this?"

Tai looks at me suggestively. "Just in case you want to visit them while they're having some fun and have some fun of your own..."

My face twists in disgust and I glare at Tai angrily. "Ew!" I yell, "You're such a freaking pervert!"

I expect Tai to laugh or something-- instead, his face freezes, twists a little as he stares down at me, then he rolls off the cot and faces the door. "Glad you're okay," he says stiffly. Then he leaves. And I'm all alone in the medicine-stale vomit smelling room again.

And it's all my fault.

Man I'm an idiot...

* * *

_A/N: Well, there you go. In case you're wondering why Tai justup and left T.K like that then you'll find out in the next chapter. :)_

_Please review. I do value them. :D_


	3. Chapter 3

_Written a long time ago... I just never took the initiative to put it up. If anyone's following this story... well, enjoy._

_

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_Chapter Three

I was laying on my back on the grimy linoleum floor, thinking about Tai and how confused he's made me by acting like he did-- all carefree and funny one second as if we'd always been friends forever, then turning cool and distant and just leaving me like that.

I wish I was Matt. Matt would know what was bothering Tai. If I were Matt then everything would be okay because I would be alive and it would just be my useless, unnoticeable little brother that would be dead. And I would have amazing friends and I could play in a band and everyone would love me.

I really resent Matt, at the moment.

That's when the bell rings and I remember what Tai said about the nurse having sex with the coach. I really don't want her to walk in with her hair all mussed and stuff... I don't think I'll be able to look at her without puking so I quickly dart out of the room and collide with something again... this time a body.

It's Davis and he's looking at me with a worried expression on his face. "Dude, you okay?" he asks, putting his hands on my shoulders and inspecting me carefully, eyes idling on my throbbing forehead.

"Y-yeah..." I murmur and Davis lets go, a hesitant grin on his face.

"You idiot," he taunts, that familiar smug smirk on his lips, "You fucking collided with the lockers!" he starts laughing and I frown and punch his arm.

"Not nice," I say and leave him there laughing, my whole body hurting with every move I make.

He catches up to me. "T.K, umm... there's still one class left and it's that way," he points in the opposite direction.

I shrug. "I don't feel like going."

"Then why did you leave the nurse's office? You hit your head and stuff... they won't mind if you sit this class out, you lucky bitch..."

I sigh. "I really didn't want to see Ms. Adams walk in with her clothes all wrinkled and her hair all screwed up after she finished letting Coach Gibbons bend her, or something..."

Davis freezes. "_What!?_"

"Second floor men's bathroom everyday at 12:10..." I say, yawning a little.

"Ew!" Davis groans, "I'm getting mental images...!"

I laugh a little bit and then the tardy bell rings and Davis stops and I keep going. "Dude, you're gonna skip?"

"I guess..." I reply with a shrug.

"Want me to go with you?"

I shrug. "You're already in trouble for skipping. Go to class. I'll be okay."

I keep walking and I hear Davis' sigh. "Fine, T.K... be careful, okay?"

I snort and wave not really knowing where the heck I'm going. I'm in the parking lot, I notice and I'm walking out of said parking lot and towards home when a car pulls up next to me and the window rolls down.

It's Tai again, a weird look on his face. "Where are you going?" he asks, the car idling alongside me as I walk down the sidewalk.

I shrug. "Like you care."

Tai scowls at me, his brown eyes, usually kind of dopey and clueless, narrowing into slits. "I do, T.K," he informs me.

"Oh really?" I ask venomously, channeling my mom's anger.

"Yeah, I do," Tai repeats.

"I don't believe you," I snap back, wishing he'd just go away and leave me the hell alone already.

"Tough," Tai growls, and his arm shoots out and grabs my wrist, pulling me closer to the car. His grip is tight and it hurts and tears are coming to my eyes and I feel like such a baby in front of him. Our gazes meet and his grip loosens-- he looks really guilty.

"S-sorry..." he murmurs, "Damn it...:

There's nothing but the feeling of his fingers wrapped around my wrist and the rumble of his car and my mind's blank for once.

"Get in," Tai says and I do, walking around the car to get in the passenger seat beside him. The car's small and stuffy and it smells like Tai and dirty clothes. I look at the backseat and see a gym bag with some girly magazines thrown around too. That explains the bad smell... and I guess those magazines are Kari's, since I can't imagine Tai reading one of them...

I giggle a little at the thought and Tai looks at me, a bewildered expression on his face. "You're weird, you know that?" he asks me, stepping on the accelerator and heading down the street, "One second you're about to cry the next you're giggling like Kari does when she sees one of those kid shows..."

I frown at him and look at him. His handsome face. His striking eyes. His tangled hair that inexplicably called for me to touch it...

The fact that I referring to Tai in a positive light after he killed my brother is a little disturbing to me, so I blurt what I'm thinking. "Did you kill my brother?"

Tai steps on the brake and my body jerks forward a little, the seatbelt pulling me back down. Tai stares at me, a blank expression on his face. "Is that what you think?"

I shake my head. "No. My parents do, though. They think that you're the one that got him to do it and stuff... but the cops told us it was suicide so I don't think that... I mean... I don't think I do..."

Tai continues to stare at me. "I-I don't..." I insisted, blushing a little under his gaze, "D-did you...?"

His hand suddenly reached out and brushed some hair away from my forehead, his fingers playing the the strands a little. I could only stare at his neutral expression as he did so. "No," he finally says, "I didn't..."

I nod. "I believe you..."

Tai nods and starts driving again. I rest my head on the headrest and take in a deep breath. "Don't you need to drive Kari home, too?"

Tai shakes his head a little. "Naw, she's gonna be doing some project with that chick Yolei," he yawns and stretches a little, "I need to pick her up at six, though..."

I nod. "Is it true about Coach Gibbons and Nurse Adams?"

Tai cracks a smile. "Yup."

"How do you know?" I inquired, a little curious.

Tai got a big smile on his face now. He laughed a little. "Well, Yama and I-,"

I frown. "Yama?"

Tai looks at me and nods. "Uh-huh, that's what I call Matt," he said simply before continuing on with his story, "Yama and I had just played a prank on Mimi and she was _so_ mad..." his face was more alive than I'd ever seen it, lost in his memories... "She chased us, screaming about how she was gonna kill us but Yama and I managed to get into this bathroom, and, well... we hid in a stall and next thing we know we start hearing these moans and shit and... yeah."

I stare at him incredulously. "You were locked in a stall together?"

Tai gave me a questioning look. "Yup."

The question escapes my lips before I can hold it back. "Did you ever screw him?"

Tai steps on the breaks again and I jerk forward again. This time there's a slight blush on his tanned face as he stares at me in shock. "W-what!?"

"Did you and Matt have sex?" I repeated, rephrasing just in case he didn't get the last question because of the wording, "And if so was my brother on top?"

Tai splutters a little bit, scratching at the back of his neck, looking around a lot... I stare at him patiently. "No!" Tai shouts finally, looking at me in a mixture of annoyance and amusement, "We were best friends! We weren't _together_, or anything! Besides, he's been with Sora way before that bathroom thing ever happened..."

I shrug. "So? Just because he was with Sora doesn't mean he couldn't do anything with you."

Tai glares at me. "We didn't have sex."

I nod. "Okay..."

Tai glares at me some more before starting the car again.

"Well... did you give each other head or hand jobs or did you make out, or anything?" I ask.

Tai breaks sharply again and I'm ready for it so I don't get thrown around again. He glares at me again and I stare back as innocently as I can. "Why the hell do you wanna know?"

I shrug. "I don't know..."

He stares at me some more then looks out his window. "I don't wanna talk about it..."

"So you did...?"

Tai snaps around. "Damn it, Takeru, shut the fuck up about Yama and me already! Okay? Geez, go ask Sora for all the sordid sex details if you really wanna know about your brother's sex life!"

I cock my head a little to the side. "You didn't answer the question," I point out.

Tai glares at me again and pulls over suddenly. I'm afraid he's gonna throw me out and kill me like he did to Matt but then I remind myself he didn't kill Matt so I shouldn't worry about him killing me... but the look in his eyes makes me think he might just kill me even though he didn't kill Matt.

Instead, he undoes his seatbelt and climbs over me, movements quick and graceful. Before I know it he's on top of me and I'm being pressed against the seat... I can feel his hot breath on my cheek and his body's warm against mine and I don't move at all, scared and strangely excited at the same time.

Tai's hand reaches to my chin and tilts my head up so I'm staring at him. Then, with a smirk on his face at my expression, he leans down and kisses me. Freaking kisses me.

I've never kissed a guy before... never even kissed anyone before, so I don't know what to expect when Tai's lips meet mine roughly, pressing against mine demandingly, almost angrily. I try to kiss back and hope that Tai doesn't notice this is my first kiss because I'm dong it wrong or something, but he doesn't seem to notice.

His tongue darts out and licks my lips, sending a sort of shivering sensation through them as I open them and his tongue darts in, exploring my mouth and making me moan a little into his mouth. To my surprise he moans a little too and his arms encircle me, pulling me closer to his body so I can feel his muscles through his clothes and the unbelievable heat.

I moan again and gasp when he pries himself away from my lips and goes for my neck. "T-Tai..." I moan, "I-I.."

My arms wrap themselves around his neck out of their own accord and I realize that I want this and God it feels so good despite the fact of who I'm doing it with and when I'm doing it, but I don't care because all I can think about is Tai, Tai, Tai and how he didn't have sex with Matt and how he wants _me_ when he can have anyone he wants and he could've had him but he didn't.

It's a weird feeling thinking about my brother and my lips become unresponsive and I tense up and suddenly Tai pulls back, his breath ragged and his face flushed. "God," he says quietly, looking away from me as if he was disgusted, "I'm sorry..."

He climbs back over to his seat and puts both hands on the steering wheel, staring absently outside the windshield. I whimper at the loss of contact and curse myself for being such an idiot because I'm a flawed, ugly little kid that came on to his dead brother's best friend. I feel like an ass and an idiot and so guilty for thinking that about Matt-- for thinking that I'd beat him in something... I stare at my lap and the tears begin to form.

Tai sees them and starts cursing. "Damn, shit, fuck," he mutters as his hand darts to my cheek and brushes my tears away as they fall, "I'm sorry... it's just that you look like _so much_ him and... and..."

I look like my brother? I don't look anything like Matt. No way. I'm nothing compared to Matt. I think this over and over as Tai continues to curse and wipe my tears away until they won't come anymore and I start hiccuping.

"You cry a lot..." Tai mumbles, his fingertips staying on my cheek even though there's nothing to wipe away anymore. I close my eyes and wish his fingers would stay there, but they leave me a few moments later.

The car starts up again and he starts driving. "I'll take you home, okay?"

I nod and relax against the seat, desperately trying to hold onto the sensation of Tai's lips on mine...

Before I know it Tai's shaking me awake gently. "We're here, Takeru, wake up..." he murmurs gently.

My eyes open and it's true, we're a block away from my apartment but we're here. I'm about to open my mouth to ask him why he didn't go straight there but then I remember the fact that my mom and dad hate his guts right now, and that it's probably best that they don't see him right now, especially dropping me off...

I nod and take off my seatbelt and prepare to get out of the car when Tai grabs my hand and pulls me back down. "Ask me anything, T.K," he says, his expression dead serious, "Do you wanna know how it looked-- how when I finally knocked the bathroom door down how he looked? What he said before he did it? How it happened?"

I admit that I wanted to. Before all this happened. Before Sora told me she was there for me and Tai and I almost did something... but now, I don't want to. All I want is to sleep and forget all this ever happened, because all it's doing is making me more and more confused.

Instead, a question tumbles out of my mouth. "Why didn't you talk to me at the funeral?"

Tai looks surprised at the question but he answers me anyway. "My best friend was in a box and he was being put in the ground. I would never see him again because it was a damn closed casket ceremony and I couldn't tell him everything I never got the chance to because you crazy ass parents were there. Sorry if I didn't feel like talking."

I nod and feel like an idiot. "Sorry..." I murmur.

I get out of the car and walk towards my apartment. "Hey!" Tai yells after me. I turn and look at him questioningly, "Even though we never did anything, there was _no way_ Matt would be on top! You kidding me? I'd be the one pounding him into the mattress! Okay?"

For some reason I smile even though he said that really loud and people are staring at us. I start to laugh and I see Tai's laughing too as he drives towards me, stops the car and gives me a look. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay?"

I nod and he smiles and then he drives off and now I know why Matt thought Tai was so cool and shit. With a grin, I walk home, thinking of Tai and his lips and the way he touched me and that despite the fact that we were both freaky damaged guys.

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_A/N: I have two more chapters already written... I'm pretty busy all the time, so I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing any more... but, hey, inspiration might strike. You never know. Hope you liked it._


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry it took so long to update this. I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed the last chapter, I appreciate your support/opinions immensely. I should really start review replying... I guess I'll start for this chapter. Anyway, please enjoy the update.  
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Chapter Four

"Where were you?"

The second I walk through the door my dad asks this of me. He still hasn't left yet; he's sitting on the couch, arms crossed, the news blaring on the TV. His piercing eyes glare at me, making me think that maybe he's a mind reader and that he'll find out that I skipped a class and Tai drove me home and then we made out or whatever the hell that was... but I swallow the lump in my throat, stare him in the eyes and answer.

"School," I lie. Well, not really, since I _was_ at school before I left... so it's only a half lie then.

Dad narrows his eyes at me and nods. "Fine," he says, "Your mother isn't feeling well. Make dinner."

He turns back to the TV and I just stare at him...

Doesn't he know I'm a crappy chef?

Really. Every time I attempt to cook something it either burns or ends up giving someone food poisoning or something. Maybe cooking something for him wouldn't be such a bad idea since he'd have to leave to go to the hospital... but maybe then they'd find out I actually tried to hurt him so they'd take me to jail. And I really don't want to go to jail.

So I just grab my mom's purse off the kitchen counter, grab the phone and order in some Chinese and give them her credit card number. After I hang up I head into my room and throw myself on my bed, the phone still in my hand.

My fingers automatically dial a number and I wait for him to pick up.

It rings and rings and rings until the line clicks and his voice fills my ear.

_Hey, it's Matt. I'm not available right now so leave a message-, Tai! What the hell are you doing!?_ There's moaning in the background and Matt starts screaming away from the phone for a few seconds. I hear his breathing back on the line before he starts speaking. His breaths are hard and I hear whimpering in the background. _Right... so, uh... leave a message after the beep and I'll try to get back to you._ I hear a cry of '_Matt loves penis!' _in the background and then laughter and then the message stops and this annoying beep fills my ear and I frown.

"You're dead," I tell the phone, "So I wonder who's gonna get this message. I wonder if the phone company hears all your messages and stuff and stores them forever and ever so that they can fulfill some stalker urge by listening to all the personal shit people leave on here..." I pause thinking about what to say, "Tai kissed me today. Which is weird, because he's your best friend and he didn't tell me if you guys did anything. Except that you didn't have sex. Did you? I don't know. This is weird. I'm talking to you about your best friend kissing me... and you can't talk bad because you're dead and-,"

The phone beeps again and I know I'm cut off so I just hang up and lean back and remember stuff. About Matt.

Like how when I was nine he insisted that I stay the weekend at dad's place so we could have a sleepover. He let me sleep in his room and we watched movies and played video games and at night when I still had nightmares about getting attacked by this evil black angel-demon thing that wanted to eat me Matt would always be up when I woke up screaming and he would smile at me and tell me stories and maybe even sing a lullaby to me in his perfect, amazing voice. I'd fall asleep and wake up in the morning with Matt smiling at me with pancakes he'd made me himself.

And then I smiled that smile little kids smile when everything's perfect and he laughed and told me to eat before they got cold and I would.

That's how it was like between Matt and me before anything happened, before anything changed. Before Matt died I'd find myself wishing that I could be nine again, my brother's arms around me as he calmed me down with a bedtime story or a lullaby.

But then I'd remember that you can't go back in time and I'd remind myself that Matt had friends that were better than me and that he was better than me and that he didn't want me. So I would settle for staying at home alone, doing nothing.

Tears prickled at my eyes and I buried my face beneath the pillows.

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My whole body hurts again when I wake up and I blink a few times, trying to get the sleep out of my eyes. For a few seconds I don't know why I woke up but that's when the shrill ringing of the phone is finally processed by my brain and I groggily lift the phone to my ear and press the 'Talk' button.

"Is this the phone company?" I slurred, not really knowing what I was saying, "Because if it is... no, you can't have my voice mail."

There's a pause on the line and I think that I'm right and that it is the phone company calling really early hoping I'd sign away all rights to Matt's voice mails to them, but then I hear a little chuckle and a reply.

"You're really weird, you know that?"

It's Tai.

I sit upright in bed suddenly and start blushing all of the sudden. Oh shit! Tai just called me and I probably look like crap! I start running my fingers through my hair and wishing I had some breath mints when I remember that Tai's on the phone so he can't really _see me_. This only makes me blush more...

"Hello? T.K....? You there?"

I nod, then remembering that he can't see me, I speak. "Y-yeah..." I say dumbly, then regain some brain power, "Why are you calling? It's," I look at my alarm clock and frown, "Two in the morning. You jerk. It's not nice to wake people up so early."

"Yeah, well, I wanted to hear your voice," Tai explains.

I freeze. "W-what...?"

"Yeah... well, not _your_ voice... it just sounds a lot like Yama's and I just... wanted to hear his voice."

Disappointment stings me and I can't hate Matt more than I do at this moment for screwing me up even more than he already has.

"Just call his cell," I offer coldly, "You can hear his voice there..."

Tai pauses again and I just wish that he hangs up soon so I can stop feeling like an idiot. "I think my sister has a crush on you."

All my anger melts away like the ice cream cones Matt used to buy me when I was a kid, replaced by complete shock. "What!?" I almost yell into the phone.

Tai yawns a little. "Yup. She talks about you a lot and blushes whenever she sees you and I think she's made a voodoo doll of you and is gonna perform some weird ritual in which you'll be forced to be her sex slave for all of eternity."

"R-r-really...?"

"Yup," he replies nonchalantly, "So I was wondering if you'd like to go out with her."

"I-I-I..." I stutter, at a loss for words.

"C'mon, Teeks," he says, "What's not to like about Kari? I mean, she's cute and funny and... stuff... and she _really_ likes you. I think you should ask her out," he waits for me to answer. I never do. "Well then, okay. You think my sister's ugly?"

I finally find my voice. "N-no... she's... okay..."

I hear Tai snort. "Oh? Just 'okay'? You don't want to kiss her?"

At the word kiss I find myself blushing again. I stay silent, twirling the line around my finger and feeling like a girl. Tai hums a little before growing impatient. "T.K.? You still there?"

"Y-yeah..." I mumble. Tai says something again but I can't hear him. "Huh?"

Tai clears his throat. "I asked if you were okay?"

"No..." I mumble, massaging my temples a little.

"Why?"

"I'm... confused..."

"About what?" Tai inquires. His voice becomes teasing, "Your sexuality, maybe?"

"W-well...!" I splutter, "You kissed me..." I murmur, my voice almost nothing when I say the word 'kiss', blushing a little.

Tai says nothing, and I think that maybe he's hung up before I hear his voice on the line. "So... you liked it?"

I'm blushing again. Or did I ever stop? "N-no...!" I almost shout, "W-w-well... m-maybe..." I admit.

"Knew it," Tai said, almost as if he were talking to himself, "You enjoyed our kiss a little too much, huh, Teeks?"

I blush in memory of what we'd done in his car... the feel of his lips on mine, his firm, strong body pressing into my own, the heat and how good it felt... my blush spreads down to my neck and my ears get hot and I seriously want Tai to hang up now....

"S-so t-that k-k-kiss...?" I manage, choking on my words.

"Naw, it wasn't to find out if you were gay, or anything. Like I said, you look a lot like Yama. But we've had our suspicions for a while, Yama and me. He'd always tell me how you would stare at the guys in those romantic movies and how you never looked at any of the girls, let alone real ones. I just wanted to confirm them..."

"You and Matt... talked about me...?" I can't believe that Matt would think about me. Why would he...?

"Yup," Tai said plainly, as if it were no big deal, "A lot. He'd tell me a lot of stuff about you, actually..."

My head hurts, so much that I think it's going to explode. I don't know if it's because of being sleep deprived or finding out that Matt actually talked about me or coming to a conscious realization that I was... uh... _fundamentally different_ from most boys... or maybe it's all these things. I don't know. I don't know about so much and I _hate it_ right now. I want to kill Matt, because it's his fault. All this is his fault... but then I remember that he's already dead and I settle for whispering into the phone.

"W-was... was that the only... only reason that you... You know...?"

"It was nothing," Tai says decisively, "Nothing at all, T.K.."

My lip trembles a little before I reply. "Fine..." the hurt's more audible than I'd like it to be.

I hear Tai sigh deeply. "Look, Takeru. Just because I kissed you doesn't make things different between us. We can still be friends."

Are we even friends? I want to ask him, because I really don't know. I don't think that friends bond over the death of their older brother/best friend, or kiss each other in the passenger seat of a car... Instead I splutter like an idiot. "B-but... you kissed me..."

Tai sighs again, this time impatient. "A kiss is a kiss. You can kiss a complete stranger and it doesn't mean anything. You kiss your mom, don't you? Well, think of our kiss like that, or like you kissing Yama or something. It didn't mean anything, T.K.."

I want to say that the kisses someone gives their mom and the kisses that he gave me are totally different because I could never feel that way if my mom kissed me, which she never does. I want to say that my mom never kisses me and Matt hasn't hugged or kissed me in years but instead I stay quiet and wait for Tai to talk again.

He does after a few moments of tense silence. "I gotta go, but I'll see you later, okay?"

"Fine," I snap at him, because even though Matt's dead Tai _isn't, _so I can actually be mad at him and not feel bad about it.

He hangs up and I throw the phone down as hard as I can into the mattress. I let out a scream before punching the mattress a few times, imagining it to be Tai then Matt and then Tai again before I collapse, exhausted.

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_A/N: Well, after this I have one more chapter written. After I post chapter five, well, I actually have to start writing again... My writing style's changed a lot so hopefully the story will improve and you'll be able to notice the difference. Expect the next update soon, maybe in a week's time. Once again, thank you and I hope that you enjoyed the update.  
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	5. Chapter 5

_Hello everyone. Here's chapter five. Hope you enjoy.  
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Chapter Five

I didn't walk to school the next morning with Davis because when I woke up my dad was sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper and mom was up and about again, constantly insulting dad about something or other. I already had a splitting headache so I left before Davis came to pick me up and walked to school by myself.

But now I'm almost an hour early and almost no one is here and I feel like a geek coming into school so early so I trudge into the cafeteria, pick up my free breakfast and absently eat some of the Cheerios until someone interrupts me.

I think maybe it's Tai or Sora when I feel the light tap on my shoulder, but when I turn around I see Kari standing there, a small blush on her face. She's flanked by the purple-haired perverted chick Yolei and the really short, serious kid Cody.

They're all staring at me and I stare back until Kari clears her throat. "Hi, T.K. Um... do you mind if we sit here?"

I shrug and they all take seats at my otherwise empty table. Now they're still staring at me and I feel like a freak at a zoo or something. I frown at Yolei and flick a Cheerio at her. She gets really red and looks like she's about to lunge over the table at me. It's funny so I laugh. "What the hell was that for!?" she demands, giving me a death glare.

I shrug. "You were staring."

Yolei glares at me even harder and Kari thwacks her over the head. Not too hard, but enough to make her redirect her glare at Kari. "Kari!? What the hell!?"

"You're being rude," Kari explains, then looks over at me and smiles, "So, what's up?"

I cock my head to the side. "The sky...?"

Cody and Yolei start laughing and Kari looks flustered. I just pop a few more Cheerios into my mouth and wonder how the hell Kari is related to Tai. They're so different it isn't even funny. I frown at the thought of kissing Kari like Tai suggested the night before...

"T.K..." Kari interrupts, giving me a worried look, "Are you okay? You look out if it."

I nod uneasily. "Yeah, sure..."

Kari opens her mouth to speak to me again when I receive a punch on the shoulder and I'm sent face first into my Cheerios. Ouch. Do you know how unpleasant that is...?

When I lift my head up from my little plastic container of Cheerios, some of the cereal still sticking to my face, I turn and find am angry Davis glaring at me, hands on his hips. "What the hell?" I demanded.

"You freaking ditched me!" Davis exclaims, gesticulating wildly to prove his point, "You freaking ditched me and I went to your house to find you and your freaking _dad_ opens the door, tells me that I'm not welcome here and to leave before he called the cops, and he looks like he fucking wants to _kill me_ because he thought I was that Taichi kid again!"

At the mention of the name Tai I blush and look away in embarrassment. Davis looks down at me in curiosity and interest, until Kari interrupts by having an outburst of her own, saving me from my best friend's intuition. "What about my brother, Motomiya?" she growls ferociously, eyes flashing in outrage.

Davis is caught off guard by Kari's threatening growl, but he nonetheless replies. "N-nothing...!" he splutters, arms stretched out in front of him cautiously. I don't blame him-- Kari looks scary when she gets angry, "It's just that... Takeru's mom and dad think that Taichi... err, killed his older brother..."

Kari whitens with fury and her hands curl into angry, furious fists. I almost think she's going to jump over the table and kick Davis' ass, but Yolei beats her to it, letting out an angry yowl and jumping over the table herself. Davis lets out a cry and Yolei captures him in a headlock, bringing his face down on the table.

"You better apologize, you ass!" Yolei growls and Cody runs over to attempt to pull her off of Davis.

"Y-Yolei..." Cody stutters, voice low and frightened as he attempts to break the two apart, "L-let him g-go... You'll get in trouble...!"

"Screw trouble!" Yolei hisses, "I may not have known that Yamato kid but I know Taichi enough to know that he would never ever do something to anyone, let alone his best friend! That Yamato kid had a death wish so he offed himself! How dare you insinuate Taichi had anything to do with it!?"

I flinch at Yolei's words but no one notices. Because now a crowd is gathering around the table and are urging Yolei to kick his ass even further and I can't think because it's so loud...

"Yolei," I hear Kari say, voice controlled and quiet, "Let him go."

Yolei hesitates, but after Kari gives me a glance she relents, slipping out of the hold, letting Davis straighten out and dust off his clothes, coughing hard.

"You're lucky you're a girl," Davis hisses venomously at Yolei, who glares right back at him.

"You're lucky my boyfriend's your friend," Yolei fires back, "If Ken didn't like you so much I would've broken something. Idiot."

The crowd's dispersing and Davis wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me away from the cafeteria, muttering angrily under his breath. Just as we're about to go out the double doors and into the hall, I look back and see Kari giving me a sad, apologetic look.

I try to smile at her as reassuringly as I can but the doors close on me before I can, so I look down at the floor.

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"Hey," Tai says, clapping his hand lightly on my shoulder and giving me a smile.

"Oh. It's you," I say this as coldly as I can, wishing that Davis didn't have soccer practice and that I hadn't promised him I'd go to his house after school. Because now I'm stuck here on the bleachers waiting for him to finish and Tai found me and this only makes it worse.

Tai looks at me with narrowed eyes and takes a seat next to me on the bleachers. "What crawled up your ass and died today?" he asks sarcastically, stretching out his long, tan legs and resting his feet on one of the rows below.

When I was five, I used to get bullied by the other kids because I liked playing with stuffed animals instead of playing sports with the other boys at recess. When Matt found out, he told me that the best way to deal with bullies was to ignore them. "If they think that it doesn't bother you," Matt had explained while I hiccuped into his chest over my favorite toy they'd destroyed, "They'll just leave you alone."

So I'm ignoring Tai. Not because he's bullying me, or anything, but because I really don't want to see him. He makes my head hurt and think of Matt and how he's so much better than me, and when I was bored one afternoon I saw an episode of Oprah that said that dwelling on 'emotionally tumultuous thoughts' wasn't mentally healthy. So yeah. I'm ignoring Tai.

Tai gives me a withering look. "Sorry I interrupted your fantasy about getting it on with one of the soccer players."

I cough and splutter and Tai has a smug smirk on his face. "I-I... I'm... not... I'm j-just waiting for my f-friend Daisuke to finish practice..." I choke out in my defense, forgetting all about giving Tai the cold shoulder.

Tai shrugs. "Oh yeah. Daisuke Motomiya. Yup, I've heard of him. Soccer captain, star player, blah, blah, blah," Tai's voice turns whiny and girlish, I giggle despite myself, "That's what everyone whines about. Except Kari. Apparently they had a little fight today," Tai laughs, "Kari only gets that pissed when she either likes someone or someone really annoys her. Sometimes she can't tell which is which, though..."

I frown at him. "Davis doesn't think you did it, Tai," I say, not wanting Tai to hate my best friend because that would be bad and awkward, "He was just saying that my parents do because whenever he comes to my house my dad thinks that he's you and he threatens to call the cops on him."

Tai looks at me with wide, surprised eyes. "Your dad's staying with you instead of returning to the lap of luxury?" he whistles, impressed, "Never thought I'd see the day that old Mr. Ishida gives up all his shit to live with _your mom_. Shit, I thought they hated each other."

I nod. "They do..."

Tai snorts and leans into me, his head on my shoulder, eyes closed. I blush and try to push him away, but he lazily swats my hands away as he speaks. "But about the whole Davis looks like me thing... I honestly can't see the resemblance."

He catches my hands that are trying to push him away. "That's because you're an idiot..." I mumble. Tai smirks and guides my hands to his lips, where he kisses each fingertip, making me blush and fidget against him, "L-let go...!" I let out, sounding strangled.

"You don't _really_ want me to stop, do you, Teeks?" Tai asks mischievously, a smug smirk on his face.

His big brown eyes are small slits and our eyes are meeting and I want him to kiss me again when I hear a shrill whistle and our eyes tear apart from each other and towards the field, where the coach is corralling everyone back into the gym. Damn it...!

Tai chuckles and gets off me, stretching his legs. "Too bad," he murmurs, "Saved by the whistle?"

With that he gets up and traipses across the bleachers. "Why are you here so late?" I blurt before he can leave me.

He turns and gives me a look. "I had some business to take care of," he tells me vaguely.

I cock my head to the side but I don't ask him anything more, because he and I aren't really friends and asking him about something he doesn't want to tell me is just gonna make things worse. "Where are you going now, then?" I ask instead.

"Home," Tai replied, "Kari's waiting up front for me."

He's walking away and Davis still isn't back and I really don't want this to end so before I can actually think about it I start talking, which I'm already used to since I'm almost never thinking that much...

"Can I come?" I ask, and he freezes and turns and looks at me, eyes wide with shock.

"You want to go home with me and my sister...?" Tai repeats incredulously, "Why?"

I twiddle my thumbs. "W-well... I... j-just..." I meet his eyes, "Want to."

Tai gives me this look weird look-- a cross between amused and smug. "What about Davis?"

I bite my lip. Hard. "C-can h-he... c-come...?"

Tai scowls at me. "Oh yeah, T.K. Sure you guys can come. Bring your friend and, oh, you know what, why don't you bring your parents too? Kari and Davis can strangle each other while your parents try to lynch me."

I pout at him. "Please Tai...?"

It's his turn to bite his lip and he looks away then back at me and then he rolls his eyes while he answers. "Fine," he says, "But keep your best friend on a leash! I don't want my sister getting arrested for killing that dumbass, okay?"

I smile really wide and Tai flips me off and walks away. "Thanks Tai!" I yell.

He waves. "Be at the front of the school in fifteen minutes or I'm leaving your ass here!"

I'm so happy as he walks away that I almost forget that I still have to convince Davis to get into the car with my dead brother's best friend that I've kissed before and his little sister that almost had her friend kick his ass earlier that morning.

God, that makes me frown again...

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_A/N: Hm. Well, this is it. The last chapter that I had pre-written... I'm working on chapter six already, so I'll hopefully have it up by Sunday even though I have exams this week. Anyway, hope you liked it.  
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